"Thought of the Week" for
TO EXPRESS ONESELF IS TO REALIZE ONESELF
To express oneself―that
is, to translate
one's feelings and understanding into actions,
forms and words―is
to realize oneself, in the literal sense
of making oneself real. Without such realization
we are phantoms, and feel the frustration
of not being fully alive.
Claudio Naranjo, M.D. (1993). Gestalt Therapy. Nevada City, CA: Gateways.
Comment:
Self realization is the heart of the Hero's Journey process
by Reg Harris
Copyright © 1998 by Reg Harris. All rights reserved. Updated October 7, 2007. All rights reserved. Apart from properly cited quotes and short excerpts, no part of this article can be copied or used in any form without written permission from the author. For permission to use, please contact me.
The concept of self realization, that is of making the self real (being and acting out of who we really are), is at the core of the Hero's Journey archetype. However, to realize and express the self, one must first discover one's true self, and this process is the essence of the quest.
Self realization would normally be a natural process, Naranjo says, like a seed germinating, a flower blooming, or an orange tree producing oranges. Our thoughts, words, actions and reactions grow naturally out of who we are, without forcing, because they are an emanation of our true character. (Note the similarity here with the Taoist concept of wei wu wei and te.)
However, according to Naranjo, when we are young and most vulnerable, we experience what we perceive to be threats or dangers to our security or barriers to our desires. We feel anxiety, friction, fear, pain and frustration. To cope we develop "strategies," which we use to manipulate our world (and those in our world) rather than to risk dealing with life openly. For example, we learn that we can protect ourselves or gain what we want by using guilt, force (bullying) or violence (tantrums or anger). Or, rather than risk rejection or censure, we learn to tolerate, a strategy which makes us martyrs or victims. While our strategies help us to cope, they do not, as Naranjo writes, allow us to "fully alive."
More importantly, these strategies eventually form themselves into our "character," that is the way we view the world, relate to others, and give meaning to our experience. While they serve us for a while, they become so important that they are no longer a means to an end, something we do, but the end itself, something we are. In short, they become our "identity."
We begin to cling to this identity and to promote and protect it through our thoughts and actions, all the while alienating ourselves more and more from what we truly are.
This "false identity," and the alienation and defensiveness it engenders, "freezes" us in the flow of life, fixing us in time rather than allowing us to grow, change and live. We become like someone clinging to a branch in a river, afraid to let go, watching opportunities and experience flow by, all the while bitterly defending our need to cling to the branch.
We protect our identity by rejecting the challenges we encounter or by dealing with them falsely with our increasingly oppressive strategies. Openness disappears, flexibility dies, and our ability to respond effectively (our "response-ability") is lost. Even when we want to act genuinely, we cannot, and a deep sense of desperation and bitterness develops.
These moments, when we wish to act genuinely
and openly but cannot, become our Calls to the
If we are lucky, at some point our desire to be genuine is so strong that we are dragged into the journey, despite our identity's protests. The process (the trail of challenges, in journey terms) forcibly strips away the layers of our false identity. It breaks down the accumulated defenses and strategies, allowing our true self to be reborn, transforming our behavior and our lives.
Finally, we can examine many of the characters in the literature we read by exploring their coping strategies: what the strategies are, how the character developed them; how they are affecting or smothering the character, preventing him or her from fulfilling a dream, how they affect the character's relationship with others, and how they may help the character cope with an otherwise untenable situation.
Hamlet leaps immediately to mind, and perhaps
Claudius.
The process of journeying into ourselves is difficult and
painful, but without it we remain just a shell of who we want to be.
