Gestalt's Paradoxical
Theory of Change
To become who we can be,
we must first become who we are
by Reg Harris
Copyright © 2011 by Reg Harris. All rights reserved. This article
may not be copied in any form, in part or in whole, without prior
written permission. For permissions,
contact Reg Harris.
One of great the paradoxes of the hero’s journey is that often, before we can begin our journey into the world, we must first journey into ourselves. The journey process is about transformation, about shedding old ways of thinking and acting so that we can be the person we have become. Ironically, the first stage of that journey takes us not outward, but inward, into our identity.
This irony—that before we can become, we must be—is best expressed
by Gestalt therapy's "paradoxical theory of change," a concept first
articulated by Albert Beisser, M.D., of the Gestalt Therapy
Institute of Los Angeles. According to Beisser,
change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to
become what he is not. Change does not take place through a coercive
attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it
does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what he is —
to be fully invested in his current positions. By rejecting the role
of change agent, we make meaningful and orderly change possible (Beisser,
1970).
In other words, before we change, we must
first be where and what we are. Gestalt theory holds that change
cannot be forced. It happens naturally, when it is ripe to happen.
However, change must begin from the life as it is, not from the
illusions we create to make life appear as we would like it to be.
We must be fully engaged in the reality of our present to be able to
step into our future. Gestalt therapist Maria Kirchner writes,
Only by being what and who one is can one become something or
someone else. Effort, self-control, or avoidance focused exclusively
on the future will not bring about change. We must become our truth
(ourselves) first before we can move from it (change). [Then] All
the energy...locked up in the battle between trying to change and
resisting change can become available for active participation in
our life processes (2005).
But facing the reality of our present is not easy because the
process usually forces us to surrender the avoidances and defenses
we have built to protect our egos. The process makes us vulnerable,
so we tend avoid it. This is why the first stage of the hero’s
journey often pulls us into the painful process of stripping away
our defenses so that we can expose and process the problem that is
blocking our progress and making natural change impossible.
In
the hero's journey, this “stripping away” process begins with Road
of Trials, which mythologist Joseph Campbell describes as “the
process of dissolving, transcending, or transmuting the infantile
images of our personal past” (1949, 101). During this early stage of
the journey, we are still initiates, so when we encounter challenges,
we tend to rely on the defenses we developed earlier in our lives,
often as
children, because they are the only coping strategies we have.
Unfortunately, these strategies, which were so valuable to us in
the
past, fail to serve us in the present. As a result, each challenge
brings another failure, and with each failure, another layer of the psychological armor we are wearing is peeled away. As Campbell
writes, “You are coming into areas of the unconscious that have been
repressed…the unintegrated self; it is that repression system that
you must pass through” (2004, 116).
As the journey pulls us deeper into ourselves,
all of our masks, manipulations, and self-deceptions are destroyed.
Finally, when we reach the Abyss, we come face to face with our
greatest fears and our deepest wounds. In the Abyss,
with the illusory self destroyed, we sink into the chaos of no-self.
At first, this emptiness seems terrifying, but we soon realize that
it is really a “fertile void.” The destruction of the pseudo self
has made room for the true self to emerge and grow.
This process of going back so that we can go forward, while painful,
is essential to our lives. The defenses we raised to protect
ourselves in our past have served their purpose. They gave us
security and soothed our wounds. However, now that we have grown, it
is time to put them aside because they are harming us rather than
helping us, blocking us from the journeys we must take to realize
our potentials.
We can help ourselves in this process by reframing negative, painful
events in our lives, reinterpreting wounds so that they become
starting points for growth. We must, as Jean Houston writes, "ask
the terrible and unavoidable questions: 'Where and by whom were you
wounded?' and 'What or who is trying to be born in you from that
wound'" (1987, p. 108). By answering those questions, we can
discover who and what we are; we can use the pain as a springboard
to growth and freedom. According to William Bridges, an expert on
transition management,
Transition does not require that you reject or deny the importance
of your old life, just that you let go of it. …honor the old life
for all that it did for you. It got you this far. It brought you
everything you have. But now—although it may be some time before you
are comfortable actually doing so—it is time for you to let go of
it. Your old life is over (2001, p. 16).
According to Bridges, this transformational process is often just a
way of "catching up" to where we should have been had our growth not
been sidetracked. He writes, "…in a sense we are ripe for the
experience [of change] because we are a little (in some cases, a
lot) behind the curve of our own development" (2001, p. 36). We may
be running what Bridges calls a "transition deficit."
Using the terms of the journey, the story we are living has fallen
behind the story that we are or that we could be. We are locked into
our old ways of being, and those old ways are like a tourniquet that
is no longer needed, originally intended to stop the bleeding of a
wound, but now choking the blood from of our lives. Frequently this
is why not changing is more painful than changing. We sense the
potentials in our life and want to pursue them, but the unfinished
business of our past holds us back. The pain arises when we feel our
lives slipping away.
Which brings us back to the paradoxical theory of change: the first step in change is not
going forward, but going back—back to who we really are. We must
quit trying to change and embrace who and where we are now. With
that awareness, we can face our wounds and fears. We can
resolve whatever is blocking us and learn to live in the here and
now. With the resulting awareness and insight, the
change that had been impossible for us will emerge spontaneously and
authentically.
This is also the paradox of the heroic
journey. The first stage of the journey is not a going forward, but
a going back, deconstructing the protective masks and illusions we
built in a former life. Then, when the
delusions are stripped away and we have our feet firmly planted the
reality of our lives, we can gradually begin to move forward again,
embracing our potentials and our futures because we
are no longer
encumbered by the baggage of our past.
References
Beisser, A. (1970). The paradoxical theory of change. Originally
published in Fagan and Shepherd (Ed.), Gestalt therapy now.
NY: Harper Colophon. Retrieved from:
http://www.gestalt.org/arnie.htm
Bridges, W. (2001). The way of transformation: embracing life's
most difficult moments. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Publishing.
Campbell, J. (1949). The hero with a thousand faces. Princeton, NJ:
Princeton University Press.
Campbell, J. (2004). Pathways to bliss: Mythology and personal
transformation. Novato, CA: New World Library.
Houston, J. (1987). In search of the beloved: Journeys in
mythology and sacred psychology (1st ed.). New York: Jeremy P.
Tarcher/Putnam.
Kirchner, M. Gestalt therapy theory: An overview. 2005.
Retrieved from: http://www.g-gej.org/4-3/theoryoverview.html.
Last update: 4 February 2011